Afghans and Prime Minister John Howard pull through!

Just a small look into my world:

JEFFERSON, MO—Contrary to what he had been assured about adult life, local resident Mike Glick, 24, reported Monday that he is even less popular than he was in high school.

Above: Glick, who has even fewer friends than he did six years ago.

"One of the biggest incentives to endure high school is the idea that the misery will end once you graduate," Glick said. "What I wasn't told is that people are basically the same dicks, except with more money and fewer opportunities to say 'Smell my finger.'"

Glick, a part-time clerk for a Jefferson law firm, added that he has not advanced in status or self-fulfillment in the six years since graduating from James Monroe High School. In fact, he said he believes he has regressed considerably.

I found this on TheOnion.com, probably the world's best source of news information that ACTUALLY matters.

I regret to inform those who have read the article below that it was pulled from The Onion.  For those in the "uninformed" class, this is NOT real.  Think Michael Moore, not Reinhold Niebuhr.

Oh, this guy is smart AND articulate!

WICHITA, KS—Delivering the central speech of his 10-day "Solution For America" bus campaign tour Monday, Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry outlined his one-point plan for a better America: the removal of George W. Bush from the White House.

Above: Kerry describes his plan to rebuild the nation.

"If I am elected in November, no inner-city child will have to live in an America where George Bush is president," Kerry said, addressing a packed Maize High School auditorium. "No senior citizen will lie awake at night, worrying about whether George Bush is still the chief executive of this country. And no American—regardless of gender, regardless of class, regardless of race—will be represented by George Bush in the world community."

The Solution For America tour, which began in Boston, will end in Eugene, OR on Aug. 20. During the next week and a half, Kerry and vice-presidential hopeful John Edwards are expected to bring their message of a Bush-free country to several hundred thousand Americans.

As the London Daily Telegraph said on July 10, 2004, "America often forgets that they cannot vote someone out of office without voting someone into office."  Yes, even the ubber-intelligent, dynamic-duo of the Johns cannot resist the temptation of stupidity and mangled-logic. 

Allow me to be the first to inform all of the intelligent ones that we actually have to pick someone to be president, we cannot just pick who we don't want to be president.  For that, I am truly regretful.

The book cover for the anti-Kerry book "Unfit for Command" was somehow changed Monday on Web bookseller Barnesandnoble.com to read "Fit for Command."

The rest of the information on the page appeared genuine, offering ordering information and a description of the book, which is subtitled "Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out against John Kerry." By late Monday afternoon, the book cover appeared correctly on the site.

Opinions on Kerry's war record have become a flash point in the days following the Democratic National Convention, where Kerry appeared onstage with members of the swift boat crew he commanded in Vietnam and declared that he was "reporting for duty."

The Queen